Know that #racism is (at a #psychological level) #paranoia and #narcissism. They are problems of the human psyche that most people ignore - especially if they are afflicted.

When distortions become reality, you live between dimensions, somewhere between reality - and fiction.

What's necessary is to break down that fiction, to bring clarity, to lighten the weight of fear, the hatred for others - and the self - from their shoulders, for it is the only way to cull racism.

#adhd #psychological eval continued

There were several tasks that seemed to be about planning (and spatial reasoning?). For instance, using only straight, non-crossing lines, connect all these dots in alternating colors. Or only moving the beads one at a time, make your board look like mine. Phone game-type stuff.

Also one that was just coming up with words that start with "f" (or "a", "s", etc). Dr was madly scribbling these down, but I don't know what it was about.

#adhd #psychological eval continued

A test interesting in its boringness. Either the digit 1 or 2 will flash up or you will hear one of those words spoken. If you hear or see a 1, click the mouse. Easy, right?

This task goes for FIFTEEN MINUTES

Obviously this is about paying attention and boy does it work. I had to almost physically hold my head in place and still kept having mini panic attacks bc I was looking at the clock or deep in thought about the test.

#adhd #psychological eval continued

A test where she read ~20 words and I had to repeat back as many as I remembered (almost none). Then again with the same list. Then again, getting better each time

Then a confuser list of similar words, then back to the original. Thought I was sailing. Then all the *animals" from the first list. Or furniture. OK, still cruising. Then asking if X had been on the list...oh crap, yes, but I never said that as an animal! (This list cropped up again near the end of the 2h)

#adhd #psychological eval continued

Now the fun and cool part. Objective Measurements!

50 line drawings seen for ~5s each followed by a set of A/B question. Which of these did you see? Mouse or bike? Bike. Etc. (Guess based on later tests: This is calibration and to check if I'm actually trying)

Dr says a string of numbers and you have to repeat them back. I got up to a string of 8-9 digits! But I wanted to say it wasn't bc I remembered them all. I just remembered the first number and the "melody" of the rest.

But part B of that test was for me to *reverse* the digits. Aha, they know that trick and are jamming me. Got like 5 digits now.